People Suck and Life Blows

You would think that as life went on, as we got older and wiser and all that nonsense it would get easier. It would make more sense. We would know how to make better decisions. We wouldn’t struggle so much with the same things that we struggled with earlier in life.
You would think that we would learn from our mistakes, really learn from them. You would think that we would be able to see the train wreck a lot sooner. You would think that when the train approached we would be better equipped to jump out of the way.
In some ways I suppose we are. But there are others that just don’t seem to get any easier to handle. It seems like more times than not we take 2 steps forward only to be taking at least 2 if not 3 back again. Starting right back over at square 1 for the 4,950th time.
It isn’t just me, which I think should make me feel better; it doesn’t though. I guess that means I’ve matured…
I see so many of my friends dealing with the same issues. There is so much personal growth and then something comes along and just knocks you on your ass.
Again.
The thing is, it’s usually the same thing that you are wiping your ass off from the last time it was on the ground.
I’ve gone through a lot in my life. My 34 years are full of shitty experiences and lessons learned and because of that I have a much better understanding of how unfair and really crazy life can be. I know that we make the same mistakes over and over again and I think we do that because we never really learned anything.
The definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again hoping for a different outcome (or something like that) so does that mean we are all insane? Sometimes I want to say yes. Others I want to say no, we’re just human and no human is perfect. Far from it.
So stop judging.
Life sucks.
Life is hard.
You aren’t perfect and neither am I.
I love imperfect people and those people I love are going to hurt me. It’s inevitable. It doesn’t mean they aren’t worth loving.
I am going to hurt them too. I’m going to make them cry and tell them how bad they suck. I won’t do it because I’m a bad person, I’ll do it because the people we love the most are the people who we can be our ugliest, most brutally honest selves with. They can see every demon and every flaw that I have because I know that when I’m done venting and crying and screaming like a fool they’ll still love me. When I get done and I’m sorry for how I acted I will hope it never happens again. I can bet you that it probably will though. It will because life blows.
Life blows and people suck.
Bad things happen to amazing people and shitty people can smile feeling like they “won”. As crappy as that is, it’s just reality sometimes. You have to be a good person because you want to be a good person. You have to treat people with love and kindness and respect because you want to. You have to listen to your friends complain about how hard life is because you love them and you want them to know you care. Even if you don’t agree with them you still listen, you listen and you give them helpful, encouraging words. If they are self-destructive, you love them enough to tell them that.
You don’t judge.
You don’t have the right to do that.
We all live in glass houses. Every single one of us. We have to accept the reality that if our behavior is so stupid, so intolerable, so unforgiving or whatever the case may be that we might lose people. We have to decide if being a complete and total jackass is worth losing people we love. Eventually people get tired. They get tired of being your doormat, they get tired of being treated badly, they get tired of doing what they can to help you find happiness when you suck the happy out of them in return. They just will. Is it worth that to you?
Life is hard and it isn’t getting any easier.
We have to surround ourselves with people who remind us how amazing we are. Not people who steal our happiness. Not people who continually knock us on our ass. We need people that extend a hand, not a gentle push when we are teetering on the cliff.

-S

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