Get Out Of My Head

I cannot get you out of my mind.
I really don’t know what else to do to get you out of my head.
I don’t want you there.
You don’t want to be there.

It’s been made obvious over and over again that we won’t work.
We are a train wreck.
A tornado.
A scorching fire.
A 10 car pileup.
A disaster.
A fucking mess.
I know this.
I know you don’t care.
I know you can’t give me what I need. What I deserve. What you promise.

Your promises mean nothing.
Your word is crap.
You don’t do anything you say you’ll do.
Ever.
You drive me crazy.
I can’t stand you.
You irritate me to no end.

So why the hell do I love you so much?

I want to rip my hair out.
Cry until I have no tears left.
Punch you in the face.
Make you feel what I feel.

Kiss you.
Love you.
Hold you.
Give you the world.
Make you feel what I feel.

Destiny doesn’t hurt.
You hurt.
You’re bad for me.
I’m worse for you.
It’s not healthy.
It’s not good.
It’s crazy.
Insane.

Amazing.

I need you to go away but the thought threatens to destroy me.
I need you.
Any part of you.
I need your name on my lips, your face in my mind.
You’re a drug.
An addiction.
I don’t drink or smoke – I have you.
I want to quit but I can’t.
I get nothing out of it except sadness.
Madness.

It’s over.
It has to stop.
You have to go away.
I’m not strong when you’re around.
I’m weak and pathetic.
That’s not who I want to be.

Go away.
Please.
Please get out of my head.
For good this time.
Don’t come back.
If you’re my soul mate I don’t want one.
I can’t move forward.
I’m stuck.
You’re quicksand.

If you could change…
If you could grow…
If you could just…………..

But you can’t.

Get out of my head.
Don’t call me back.
Don’t text me.
Don’t ask how I am.
Just please. Please.
Go away.

I can’t do it anymore.
I can’t care.
It’s bad for me.
You’re bad for me.

-S

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