Being alone is fine. It teaches us all kinds of stuff. We realize how strong and how awesome we really are.
It’s the nights after a really awful day at work. The nights after a day of learning your kids lied to you. The nights of paying bills and the worry sets in about just how you’re going to be ok. The nights when the washing machine breaks and you need to wash clothes for school tomorrow. It’s those nights when it’s so hard. It’s those nights when you just want to fall apart. Those nights when you miss being able to collapse in the arms of someone who loves you at your worst. The nights when you just need someone to tell you how amazing you are because you just really can’t remember right then.
It seems like it’s those nights when you feel the most alone. You feel lost. Question everyone and everything in your life. Those are the nights your phone doesn’t ring. It doesn’t light up with texts or calls. Those are the nights when you wonder if you really have anyone anymore.
You know deep inside that tomorrow will be better. You’ll feel better. You’ll move past it.
It’s those nights though that make it all so tough.
You question if you made the right decision when your marriage ended. You question if you are screwing your kids up. You wonder if you should’ve just settled…
It would’ve been so much easier. Someone else would be right there to fix your washer. Someone else could discipline and spare you the guilt. Someone would be there to keep things running for just a minute while you fell apart.
But they’re not. You can’t depend on anyone. No one is there and lets be real, tomorrow you won’t want them there anyway. It’s just on nights like those.