I Thought You Knew

I thought you knew.
Your whole life I thought you knew.
I thought you knew how much I loved you.
I thought you knew that my heart kept beating day after day because of you.
I thought you knew that you were my world.
My everything.
I really thought you knew.
I thought I told you enough.
I thought you were reassured enough.
From the moment I knew you were there I loved you.
The struggles, the pain and the hurt were just a tiny memory once I saw you.
Once I was face to face with you I knew my world would never be the same.
In a good way.
My heart was full.
Something I never missed was now filling me with a love I didn’t even know was possible.
All I’ve ever tried to do was be the best I could be for you.
I wanted you to be proud of me.
I wanted you to say that I was the best.
My life was you.
My greatest accomplishment.
My priority.
My reason for waking up.
There wasn’t a guide or a handbook, I just tried to do the best I could.
Not everyone thought the way I handled things was right.
Not everyone agreed with my openness and my attitude.
Maybe they were right.
It doesn’t matter now.
I thought you knew that everything I did I was doing for you.
I really thought you knew.
Every mistake was a mistake.
Everything I did wrong I’m sorry for.
I thought you knew that.
I thought you did.
I would never hurt you intentionally.
When I say no it’s because I love you so much.
When I get upset or seem disappointed it’s because I know you can do better, can be more.
I thought you knew that.
I’m here.
I’ve always been here and I’ll always be here.
No matter how hard you push I won’t go.
Ever.
I’m so sorry that things are so hard.
I’m so sorry that you’re hurting and that you feel so alone.
I know I’m not always enough but I will always be here.
I have been from day one and it won’t ever change.
No matter what.

I thought you knew.

-S
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