She Doesn’t Cry. She Cried.

You don’t realize how much something really means to you until you are faced with the very real possibility of losing it.

Athletes are always at risk of injury.
Always.
Every time they step out onto the court or field, when they are playing at 110%, you never know what could happen.
I have seen it so many times over the years as a sports mom.
A ball hit to the face or the ribs, a twisted ankle, a concussion.
I saw my daughters best friend carried off the field.
It’s so scary.

You want your kids to be safe and to be able to enjoy doing what they love to do.
You almost take for granted that they will be OK, that they will be safe.
I know they take it for granted.
They assume they will always be able to play their sport.
They will always have it in their lives.

My daughter was hurt.
She was actually hurt twice.
The first injury was on a Saturday at a tournament.
She was running to third base and was tagged in a way that made her drop flat to her knees.
My daughter doesn’t cry.
Not for pain.
She cried.
I knew something was wrong.

They only had 9 players and she could walk OK so she kept playing.
That evening you could see that it was swollen, maybe full of fluid, it was bruised and felt funny.
The next day she felt fine. She could walk and run and it was all good.
So she played Sunday…
I was a little uneasy and I knew I would have to take her to the emergency room.
Of course that wasn’t sitting well with her.
She was just fine….

While catching Sunday a runner was trying to come home, my girl blocked her, got the out and a metal cleat to her thigh.
Her pants were ripped and there was blood everywhere.
We got her cleaned up (no tears, metal cleats to the thigh must be minor)
She went on to get a homerun and they won the tournament.

She did what she loved to do.
Regardless of how much pain she was in.
You would look at her and think she was OK.
I knew something wasn’t right.
After 11 stitches, x-rays and a few follow ups to the doctor her knee still wasn’t quite right.
Walking, running, jogging and jumping were no issue but if you pushed on her knee or if she would sit down on it, the pain was excruciating.

I sat with my baby when the doctor told her that she probably had torn something and that she would be out a minimum of six weeks.
I sat with her again when he said she would probably need surgery and should start preparing herself to be out for awhile.
I saw the tears.
I saw the color drain from her face.
In the car she cried, it’s my life mom.
It’s what I do.
What if I can’t?

Going into her Junior year, this is not what she needs.
College showcases are during the summer.
This time in her life it’s very important to get to those showcases.

There have been times where she has taken a short break.
Times where she would rather go hang out with friends than play.
Even times when she said, I don’t know if I want to keep playing.
She has always gone back to it though.
Always went back to doing what she loves to do.
Never has it crossed her mind that she may not be given an option.
Granted even if she has surgery she would be able to play again.
This won’t be a permanent thing but to lose an entire summer at her age, in her grade, is a hard thing to process.

As a mom, sometimes I wonder what she’s thinking, where her mind and her heart are.
What really motivates her?
How much does this or that really, truly mean to her?
The teenage years are so different from all the previous.

When she was sitting there and she heard the doctor, it was one of the hardest things as a parent I have had to see.
There wasn’t blood or broken bones, but it hurt my daughters heart.
She had her heart broken and you could visibly see her pain.
We feel their pain.
We don’t want our kids to hurt or to be sad.
This was very difficult for her.
I wanted to breakdown and cry myself.
How much more does this girl have to deal with?
It took all I had to be strong for her.
To reassure her that everything would be OK.
Life is what we make of it and we can’t let this setback steal our dreams or our goals.
We have to work through it and come out stronger.
This is my baby and she needs to know that I believe everything will be OK.
And I do.
It’s a setback.
She has proven time and time again that she is a strong young lady.
Very strong.

There is nothing that can lift me up and give me strength more than when I need to have it for my kids.
We will take it like a champ and we will make it through whatever it is.
Six weeks or six months, we can handle it.
It could be so much worse…
We are going to do whatever they tell us too and we will be back at 110% just as soon as possible.

The lesson here is that no matter what age we are or what our passion is, we should never take it for granted.
You never know what can happen, you never know what kind of accident or incident or life changing event can happen and change everything.
In the blink of an eye your life can change.
The things you love to do, you should do them as often as you can.
The people you love, you should make sure they know just how much.
The places you like to go, you should go there every chance you get.

-S

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