Square One

I haven’t written in a few days. I miss it when I don’t do it. When life gets crazy I always have my writing, my journaling and now, my blogging.
I literally have not stopped for the past several days though.
The move is done.
Fastest move ever I think.
Hopefully the last one for awhile.
The next one will be the final one. (Fingers crossed)
I’m thankful for the people that are there with a moments notice and I’m thankful for the ones that don’t judge.
Ever.
They just stay constant in my life while I try to learn my way.
I’m a work in progress.
I’m nowhere near there yet.
I am exactly where I am supposed to be though.
I believe that.
I believe that the same struggle will present itself to you over and over again until you come out of it with what you were meant too.
I obviously have failed to do so thus far…
I could get mad or upset about it but why?
It’s me.
I haven’t learned what I am supposed to learn yet.
Back to square one.
In so many ways.
Tonight I go to dinner with my square one and a third of my heart.
When dinner is over we will go home to our square one house.
Hopefully when I lay my head on my pillow I will be a lot farther than when I started.
I am open now, finally.
After all this time, I am finally open to learn whatever it is that I am supposed to learn.
Everything.
My mind, heart, soul and brain are all open.
Open to see and hear and feel whatever it is that I am supposed too.
I have finally accepted that I cannot control everything.
I am always so stressed out and so worried about everything.
I’m not anymore.
This life of mine is the way it should be.
The people that are in it, the struggles I have been through, the memories I have experienced.
None of that is an accident.
It’s all exactly as it should be.
I am done trying to please and trying to be anything other than what is real.
Me.
I am enough for whatever it is that’s in store for me and my life.

-S

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