Wine and Strawberries

First dates are so awkward.
I realized while I was on one last night that they are very similar to job interviews.
You get dressed up and spend a little more time on your hair and makeup than normal.
You are prepared for all the questions.
You’re on your best behavior, using all your proper manners.
Then you wait for the call back or you realize you wouldn’t be a good fit and you hope you won’t get picked for the job, or next date….

I had a great time.
As far as first dates go, it was a good one.
There are some nice ones still out there.
I was wondering for a little while so that was good to find out.
When I am asked “how was it?” I realize I don’t really care about that part…
I don’t expect anything anymore.
I just don’t get real excited about dating.
If it isn’t bad then that’s good, but I don’t get all giddy and school girl like anymore.
When they say “have fun!” I’m usually just like OK… I hope so.
I think the really exciting part will be dates with someone once you know you have fun with them.
When you know you will have a great time no matter where you go or what you do.
When you look forward to seeing them again soon.
When you already know how much you like them and that your night will be amazing.
That will be when it gets fun again.
That’s the part I can’t wait for.
That’s the good stuff.

My date last night was very different from my past and “typical” dates.
This was wine and cheese with grapes and strawberries.
Michelob Ultra wasn’t even on the menu.
It was a night of conversation about things like “what is your passion?”
What did you dream of doing as a kid?”
What are your goals and your ambitions?”
I discovered my favorite wine and I spent much of the evening really pondering life.
My thoughts were bigger, my memories brought closer.
My dreams right in front of me again.
My answers started out vague but he prompted for more, asked more specific questions.
At first I thought it was a little odd but then I was almost in awe, he wanted to know about me.
Really know about me and what happened to me since high-school (we went to school together), it was nice.
Very nice.

At lunch today with girlfriends, I told them about my night and how different it was for me.
Every one of them agree that different is good.
Even if just for a little while.
I’m keeping an open mind.
I really have no expectations.
There are no plans to go out again and that is OK too.
I’m not really clear on where my heart is when it comes to dating or relationships, I think that’s OK too.
I’m open, I’m not worrying too much.
When it’s supposed to happen it will.
I know that.

It was pretty fun though I must say… sipping wine and eating strawberries.
-S

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