I have this thing this weekend. It’s kind of important.
My daughter has a tournament in a city that is two hours away as well.
The issues of being a single mom…
Guilt. I have guilt.
I can’t be in two places at once obviously.
I don’t have anyone to help me with the tournament and I am the only one that can represent me at the other event.
Here’s the thing though, I am only one person.
No matter how we slice it up, analyze it or try to work it all out, I am just me.
Just one person.
Three kids, two events on opposite sides of the world. Well not really but it feels like it right now…
I am just one person. One person that right now has to set my priorities. Both are very important to me but my daughter doesn’t have anyone else right now. She only has two more years with me. Two.
Maybe I am trying to justify it in my mind. I don’t know but I know I am tired of feeling guilty for not keeping everyone happy.
Where I am right now, going to the other event would definitely be good for me. I actually really need it right now. It would benefit all of us. It is where I should probably be.
This tournament is important for my baby too though. It’s where she needs to be. Her team wouldn’t have enough to play without her. She hasn’t played in awhile. She has watched her friends fight for their District title from the sidelines. It hasn’t been easy for her. Getting on the field as soon as possible is where her heart is. It’s what she needs…
My priority is my kids. It always has been.
So I choose the tournament.
I choose being there for my girl.
Maybe it’s wrong. Maybe it’s not.
When you have been in my shoes and you know what it feels like to have to make a decision like that; to not have anyone to split up the responsibilities with… then you can judge.