Words

I was selfish when I was younger.
I didn’t really understand what I had and how blessed I was.
I was all about getting my way and looking pretty all the time.
That was what was most important to me.
I had no clue.

Having my kids changed that.
Working hard to get the things I wanted changed that.
Surrounding myself with loving, caring, giving, kind people changed that.

Thank God.

One of my bestest friends told me “My mom always said, when you loan people money, don’t expect to get it back. If you do, it’s a blessing.”
Just the fact that she would loan money or anything for that matter says a lot about her heart.
The fact that she doesn’t expect it back says even more.
She would give the shirt off of her back to someone she loves.
I would too.
I think that’s one of the reasons we get along so well.
When you do things like that though, you’re a lot more likely to get hurt.
Big hearts = big hurts

I have never understood people that have absolutely no concern for how they make other people feel.
It could be a thank you note for a small gift, just a text saying thank you.
An acknowledgment that someone did something above what they need too simply because they have a big heart and they care about you.
It’s not difficult.
I don’t think.

Words.
They can cut like a knife.
The sharpest knife possible.
Mean.
Thoughtless.
Is it that hard to choose your words a little more carefully?
To think about the lasting effect that your words or your attitude or even your actions will have on the other person…

I have learned that usually those people are just miserable people.
With everything.
They are just miserable.
They don’t know how to be nice or kind.
They use their words to hurt you because they are hurt themselves.
I’m not justifying it.
Not at all.
It isn’t OK.

Last night I got to see it firsthand.
I won’t get into all the details but I saw a good, kind heart get hurt.
Crushed.
He didn’t do anything wrong.
He is just as innocent as can be.
Loving and caring.
Kind.
Sweet.
The other person is just miserable.
Sad.
Their priorities are all messed up and hurting him with his words was the only defense he had.

It’s so upsetting.
That someone we think we know or someone we love can be so mean.
So selfish.
There are people that give when they have nothing left to give.
There is nothing funny or comical about hurting innocent people.
Children.
Anyone really.

In that moment last night, things became so clear for me.
My priorities shifted a little more.
I’m not bitter or angry about it, I’m sad for you.
Very sad because treating people like that will only ensure your loneliness.
You’re loss.
Karma.
A kind of calmness came over me.
It was almost like I felt still.
I realized my purpose for being here.
I have three.
Three reasons for pushing through.
It was my job to stop those tears and I did.
I always will.
Until the day comes that they too realize your selfishness and your bitterness isn’t worth their tears.

-S

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