The Only Kinda Love I Need

These three little people have taught me so much.
About life. About love.
About forgiveness and kindness. Generosity. Loyalty.
They have taught me what true, selfless love is.
What it truly means to love with your whole heart.

Watching them with each other has taught me what forgiveness really looks like. Moving on, forgetting the stuff that should be forgotten instead of dwelling on it.

Turning to each other when they really need help or advice.
The three of them know they have each other. No matter what.
They can call each other names and literally fight but no one else better even come close to trying it.

It’s a bond that cannot be replaced.
A love that you can’t fake or recreate.
Amazing stuff.

Really amazing.

Best friends.

Not always, but when it counts, when it matters. When we go home the four of us know that we have this.
We will be OK.
We have each other.

I don’t know exactly why I’m reflecting on that right now. Watching my babies as the lightning strikes outside.
Playing Xbox with friends.
Texting and Snapchatting and my baby cuddled up next to me.

These are the moments that make me feel like all is right.
I don’t need anything else.
Not right now.

The things I thought I wanted, I can see differently now.
I don’t want them.
They didn’t work out for a reason.
Some things go good.
For awhile.
Sometimes for a long while.
They seem like they would be perfect.
Exactly what you want.

Stepping back.
Whether by choice or by force, causes you to see things in a new light.
When you come face to face with those things again, you see a lot clearer.
Whether you want too or not.
You see that life never stopped because you weren’t there.
It went on.
It changed.
New relationships formed.
Old ones lost.

The things you wanted so desperately, tried to cling onto so tightly.
God was doing all he could to pull you away, to show you that you weren’t in the right place.
It isn’t always that you’re losing things, there’s a likely chance that you’re being shown it’s not right for you.
You’re being redirected.
Maybe because someone else should be where you are, but definitely because you shouldn’t be anymore.

I’m realizing that what I desperately wanted wasn’t right for me.

At all.

It’s not where I was meant to be.
None of us ever know what the future holds.
We couldn’t possibly.
There’s too many lessons that we need to learn along the way into the future.
If we knew what was coming, what was going to happen; we may not take that path.
The lessons wouldn’t be learned.
What a shame that would be.

I’m not really sure what my future holds.
I’m not really sure about a lot of things.
What I am sure of though is that right now, all is fine.
Me and me three little crazies.
We’re good.
That’s real love and right now it’s the only kind I need.

-S

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