Panic in NYC

He asked me if I wanted to make it official.
He said you’re the only one I’m interested in.
I’m not seeing anyone else.

I’m not either.
He’s the only one I’ve been seeing.

It was so sweet.

He knew all the details of my trip and helped with issues that arose.
He was genuinely concerned for me.
I appreciated what he did for me so much.

Only a concerned, caring boyfriend would do something like that.

Boyfriend.

I felt the tears.
The feeling in my gut.
I started having a hard time breathing.

I was having a panic attack.

Again.

Just breathe S.

Breathe.

I knew I would feel better if I heard his voice, so I called him.

We talked it out.

My best friend, even my daughter.

I know some of you are reading this and thinking what the heck is her problem…

My problem is this:
I am scared to death of getting hurt.
I am scared to death of making a wrong move or a wrong decision.
There is a lot at stake.
People’s feelings.
My kids feelings.
His too.
What if I fall in love again….
What if?

Once I heard his voice and I relaxed, took a breath or 50, I felt better.

He doesn’t want to hurt me.
It’s a risk we all have to take in order to find happiness.

I know that.

So I’m going for it.

Maybe he’s my Prince Charming.

Maybe he’s gonna break my heart.

I need to find out.

-S

Panic

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