When You Know You Really Have No Idea

When you know, you know.


I don’t think I agree with that saying.

No I don’t.

I think you think you know.
You get butterflies and everything is going so good.

It’s so perfect.

He says all the right things. Does all the right things.

Or maybe he doesn’t. Maybe he tells you straight up that he knows he will mess this up.
He messes everything up. He tells you that he would rather do the hurting than get hurt.

You promise him that you won’t hurt him.
But you might. You might hurt him.

He might hurt you.

That’s just the way it works.

There are no guarantees. We don’t know.
We might feel like we know.

For a little while.

Especially in the beginning.

It always feels just right.

You have fun together. You can talk about anything. You connect.

The hard part comes with keeping that up. If it’s hard in the beginning, if it takes work in the beginning is it worth it?
It’s going to require hard work later on. Should it now?
Should you have to work? Try so hard?
When you add in real life it automatically gets harder. Kids, parents, sports, work, cleaning, laundry.
That stuff doesn’t make anything any easier.

I want to think it should come natural.
That you should want to talk to each other.
That when something happens you should instantly want to tell me about it.
Pick up the phone to tell me about your day or your night.
I should want to tell you.
To say “I can’t wait to tell _______.”

If I have to force it, I don’t want it.

I’m smiling. I’m happy. I have fun. I’m just going with it. Just letting it take it’s course.

Once your heart is completely in it, the rules change. The walls have to come down. One brick at a time. Not all at once.
Sometimes we can’t help that though. Sometimes the wall falls. Fast.
Then what?

I don’t think there are any right answers.
Your heart and your mind have to work together.

That is so much harder than it sounds.




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