Walls and Bulldozers

Your heart is the bulldozer and your mind is the wall.

We build walls up to protect ourselves but once the heart gets involved, usually it’s all over.

We have it all worked out in our mind.
We know how we want things to go.
How we want to act, what we want to say.

The heart feels what it wants to though.
We can’t hide or make those feelings go away.

We can try to protect ourselves all we want but the reality is that when you allow yourself to feel for someone, you allow yourself to get hurt.
You open yourself up to the possibility of getting hurt.
Of feeling paralyzed by the hurt.
No one wants that. No one does. But it’s bound to happen. At some point. There is no way around it.
Even if you find the most perfect of perfect partners; they are going to hurt you.
You will be disappointed and sad at some point.

No one is perfect.

They might even tell you they know they will mess it up. They mess everything up. Their friends will tell you they mess everything up.

Of course you will fall for that one. Life would make way more sense if you didn’t. So you will.

The one that tells you they will hurt you.
That’s the one.
Silly heart.

They mess things up because they are afraid of getting hurt.
Does that make it any better?

No. That just means that you are two people that have walls built so high and so strong that you will do anything to keep them standing.

Anything.

Will they stand?
Can they make it? Or will they fall down?
One brick at a time or full on crumble when the bulldozer comes through?

I guess we will see.

I know how I am going to approach this.
How I am going to act. What I am going to do.
In my mind. I have it all worked out. Walls.

I’m ready.

I just hope my heart listens this time.

-S

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