I had done smaller ones in boot camp a few years back but never this high. I was staring at the thing and I was thinking.
I was seeing myself fall on my face or slamming into the thing and falling over.
I realized I was genuinely scared.
I could have cried.
I was so afraid. Of jumping up on something.
I never cease to amaze myself.
I think too much.
I should just go for it. Just jump.
But no. Not me.
I have to think about it, the jump, the fall, the embarrassment. There is no judgment there so I don’t know why I was so worried about that part, but I was.
The fear almost froze me up. Totally.
I seriously couldn’t believe I was on the verge of tears just looking at what I needed to jump on.
I couldn’t do it. There isn’t like this awesome ending to my story where I say but I did it!
I couldn’t. They lowered it. Quite a bit.
I made that.
I was so upset. Really, tears were yelling we’re coming, we’re coming!
Why can’t I just go for it? Why would doing a handstand or a pull up (that I know I can’t do) be easier than jumping up. UP! Not jumping down, into a hole or out of a plane. I want to skydive! But I can’t jump up??? Seriously S!?
I feel great today. I had an amazing workout like I always do there.
I can’t stop thinking about that jump though.
I have to do it. I have to make that jump.
I will. I have too.
It just goes to show that until we push ourselves we really have no idea what we can or even cannot do.
I also have learned that I think way too much. Sometimes I need to just go for it.