Date Night

Date night. I love it and hate it all at the same time.

I love getting dressed up cute and doing just a little bit more to my hair and makeup. I love the excitement of seeing him again or of getting to see friends.

I don’t like the anxiety I get. Do I look cute? The dreaded “you look fine” I hate that!!
I despise wondering if it will go ok. I always worry about how it will go. Will he call? Did he have fun too? Will we go out again?

I have finally gotten to a place where I don’t stress over it anymore.

I look how I look.
I act how I act.
I might spill some food on my shirt. More than once actually.
I might trip if I have on heels. Heck I might trip if I have on flats.

This is all me. It just is. If I wanted to change any of it I couldn’t have it all done by the time I need too anyway.
I don’t really want to change it though. Well, maybe the food spilling part or tripping on my own feet.

But that’s it.

I’m me. Me going on a date. I like you or I wouldn’t be going. I hope you like me. But if you don’t.
I don’t really care.

Not yet.

If we go out a bunch of times and then you decide you don’t like me I’m gonna be bummed.
I’m going to be sad.
My life won’t be over though. Trust me, I can handle it. I will survive you not liking me. I have survived worse.

But right now in the beginning it’s just whatever really. In the beginning it just is what it is.

Did you know the rules have changed?
I didn’t.
There’s apparently a three day rule now. Thankfully I haven’t had to wait the three days yet but that’s the new norm.
When I heard that I was shocked. Three days to sit and wait.
To wonder if it went ok in their opinion too.
This dating stuff isn’t easy. I’m grateful for my single friends. They’re teaching me…
I thought by noon the next day he wasn’t going to call. I was a little freaked out.
My friend informed me he had three days.
Three.
He called by 5pm.

That was stressful! Ick!

Somewhere during this dating game I have decided not to stress. To enjoy it. To have fun being a girl, getting dressed up and looking nice. To soak in your compliments. Have a good time. Enjoy my drink or the movie or dinner. Tell my friends how great (or not) it was.

Then move on.

If he doesn’t call or if it wasn’t wonderful, then he’s just not the one. That’s ok. Nothing lost. Nothing hurt. Why stress about it? I’m not looking for a new husband. Just someone to have fun with… if even that honestly.
If my first date is already stressing me out then I don’t really see the point. I want to be excited to see you again. I want you to be excited to see me again. I do not want to wait three flippin days. I don’t want to worry about the “rules”. They’re good to know. Don’t get me wrong but I don’t want to worry about that stuff.

At all.

It’s date night. I’m excited. I don’t know what to wear. I’m gonna call my friend soon so we can talk about it. I hope you’re excited too. I hope we have fun. If not, well then it is what it is.

-S

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