My Baby Boy

My son is sick. He has had some kind of a bug for the past few days. He feels weak and he’s tired. He just wanted to cuddle. Just lay in bed all wrapped up and comfy with me.

I love when they just want to snuggle with me. I hate that he’s sick but I love the way they still like to cuddle with Mommy when they are.

It always brings back so many memories. From when they were babies. Smaller. So helpless. So tiny. So dependent on us.

I had complications when my daughter was born so I had my boys by C-section. He was so perfect. Perfect round little head. Perfect little toes and fingers. He was just perfect. I was in love.

My heart was so full of love for my daughter it was insane. Sometimes when I would look at her chubby little cheeks I felt like I could explode.

But I had room for more.

I was a little worried when I was pregnant. How could I love someone else the way I love her? Would he feel like I loved her more? Would I love her more? Would my husband love them the same? What if they could tell we loved one more than the other or what if they think we have a favorite?

That’s traumatizing!

I know we are supposed to say that we love all of our kids the same. That’s the “proper” thing to say.
I don’t believe it though. I never have. I don’t love them all the same. Or more. Or less.
It is different though. Each one of my kids is different. They each have a special place in my heart. Each one has a different personality. I have been through different things with each of them. I don’t love one more than the other but I don’t love them all the same.

My son was a totally different feeling. Not more. Not less. Different. He was my boy. My son. My first son. Mommy’s boy. He stole my heart. It’s a different kind of bond with him. I want him to grow up to be a great husband and a great father.

I know he will be.

He is so kind and caring and sweet. He is so loving. If you don’t feel good, he will take care of you. He doesn’t roll his eyes or complain. He wants to take care of you. He wants to watch the little kids. Help babysit. Cook for you. He will volunteer to sit at the hospital with older family members. He wants everyone to be happy. He doesn’t like anyone upset or feeling left out.

I’m so lucky to have him as my son.
I am so blessed.
God really created a special person when he made my baby. All of them really, but this post is about him.

Thankfully he feels better today. I secretly love when they are a little under the weather these days though. I get snuggles and love and I can reminisce in the memories that come flooding back through my mind from the days when they were small and wanted to cuddle every day. Don’t take those days for granted. They grow up. Fast.

-S

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