Falling Short

Today was the deadline for a goal I was trying to reach.

I didn’t make it.

I’m super bummed about it.

I can’t be mad at anyone but myself though.

The fact of the matter is that I had time to reach my goal. Plenty of time.

I set this goal six months ago. I knew what needed to be done and I decided six months ago I was going to do it.

Then life happened. Life. Crazy life.

I let my vision get clouded. I lost site of what I wanted to accomplish. I forgot that it was up to me to get myself there. I let silly issues take over and I allowed my vision to slip from view.

I would normally cry about this. Maybe pout to myself or to my best friend. Get mad. Try to think of all the “things” that messed me up. Blame someone else for the fact that I fell short.

I determine my own destiny. I determine where I end up. Not you or him or them. Me.

Letting things cloud my vision affected a lot. Thankfully it was corrected. Or it’s being corrected. It’s better. Getting better. It’ll be ok. I know that. No doubt.

Anyway, I fell short. Myself. S.

The goal will not be met tonight.

Period.

It is what it is though. There’s nothing else I can do. Time is up. I don’t have any magic tricks up my sleeve.

Unfortunately.

It’s all in how we look at things though right?

I might not have met my goal but I did accomplish a lot. I got lost for a little while but I found my way again.
There was a friendship that was reborn, new friendships made, new relationships started.

A reminder that I have to take care of me. I can’t pause or stop and wait for anyone else. If things don’t go as planned you reroute your course. You don’t give up.

No one or no thing should have so much power over you that you give up what you want. What you desire. Cause you to lose site of your dreams.

I forgot that. Just for a little while. Long enough though that it affected my ability to reach this particular goal.

The lesson here is that I can’t lose sight of the dreams my children and I have. No matter who comes into our lives or who leaves them. No matter what obstacles are thrown in my path. I have to reroute. Regroup. Continue on. No one else will do it for me.

I fell short and I will be left behind this time. That’s my bad. My fault. Another hard lesson to learn. But it’s learned. Instead of it knocking me down, it’s propelling me forward.

Tonight I’m not making my goal. I’m ok with it. I’m allowed to be sad for a few minutes. I can be bummed. But I can’t let it stop me. I can’t even look at it as a setback. It’s not. It’s a stepping stone to bigger, greater goals that I have no doubt I will achieve.

-S

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