White pants

I tell you these days there are lessons in everything I do. There probably always were but I just wasn’t receptive to seeing them.

We needed white pants for today.
I ordered her the team pants but they didn’t make it in, so last night we learn she needs white ones with a black stripe for today. White pants, black stripe by 8am.

Ok. Not a big deal. I know what we need and I know where to go look.

She called friends to borrow a pair and save me the money and the trip/headache of searching. No luck.

Not a problem. I know what we need and I know where I can go, what I can do to find the right ones.

Just like life. We know what we need. We know what we need to do to make it happen. We know where to go, where to look.

We know what it takes to be successful. We can’t depend on other people. We can’t wait for anyone else to make it happen.

We have to go buy our own white pants.

Cheesy right? I’m getting to my point.

Let’s fast forward to this morning. She puts on her white pants that I found at 10 o’clock last night. We get in the car and we drive an hour to the fields.

Guess what?

Everyone has on orange pants. Orange. Not white. Seriously. Orange pants.

I knew what we needed. I knew where to go. I made it happen. I found the white pants.

It was still wrong. It happens. We have it all figured out in our heads. We just know what we need or what we want or what it will take.

Then we get it and it’s wrong. Or it’s nowhere near how we thought it would be.

We plan it all out in our minds. We think we know. We really have no idea.

I thought I knew what I wanted in my life. I thought I had it all figured out in my mind. I knew what would make me happy. I knew what I liked. What would be good.

Then I got it.

It was all wrong. My life was white pants when I really needed orange.

My kid has on the wrong pants for today. She has to wear them. She has to deal with the fact that she has on the wrong uniform.

Next time we will double check. Ask someone else, get a second answer. Maybe bring all three colors of pants with us.

For now she has the wrong ones though. It can be fixed but not as fast as we would like.

Like life.

It can all be fixed. Not as fast as we would like. Not instantly. But we learn. We learn from our mistakes as we go. We move on. Get it right the next time.

Our world hasn’t ended. Life isn’t over. Be careful what you wish for? Maybe. I don’t think it’s an accident or a screw up. I think it all happens for a reason. I think we have to mess up to learn. I think it’s ok.

My life is Starting At 33. I’m learning things I never knew. I’m learning the importance of loving me. Of living my life for me and my kids. The past 33 years haven’t been how I wanted them to be but they have been exactly how they should be.

My kid looks cute in white pants. She stands out. I know which one she is at just a glance. It’s not the end of the world but next time it will be right.

-S

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